Suicide Pie

Yep, gonna do it, gonna have a little bit of suicide. But the good kind. Gonna go and off those parts of me that I don't really like. Like, for instance, if you will, I'm gonna be done with lethargy, probably. Gonna avoid wallowing for as long as possible. Makes sense, right?

I am trying to discover my philosophy. Part of my philosophy is that everyone has their own philosophy, and the purpose of life is to find it. The crazy radical dude knows what hes doing when he firebombs a Planned Parenthood. He's doing the right thing in his philosophy. Part of my philosophy is that that guy sucks and needs some serious education, but he is right to do what he believes in. So the value of my philosophy ends when you don't have to interact with me. So there isn't much of a reason to share, except that I like talking about this stuff. (Side note, I'm always really nervous people are gonna think I'm crazy or weird and condemn me or feel sorry for me because they think I'm reaching out or something. This is not so. I know I've said that before but I'm paranoid about it, and need it to be understood to write honestly.)

Everyone has the right to their philosophy, as long as it doesn't walk into mine. Unfortunately, a lot of people's philosophies revolve around mental coitus and reproduction, setting up franchises of their own personal beliefs. How lame is that? Why would anyone want to believe the same thing someone else tells them? I mean, of course that is a blanket statement and not really true for the most part, but when you get down to the core of how you live your life and why, how can you be a puppet for a mega church evangelist, or Wal Mart or anyone else that tries to influence your life for their gain. It's crazy. Well, I wonder if those who succumb to sheepitude believe they are discovering their own philosophy? Man, that sucks. I just don't think spreading your own beliefs has much value usually. Or, no, it can, what I mean is no one has the right to tell anyone else how to live their life, and I don't understand the compulsion to do so (I am referring exclusively to those who execute their lives non violently. "Your freedom to swing your fist ends where someone else's face begins"). I so honestly don't care how weird or different you are from me. Good for you I say, diversity makes the world strong and a fun place to live.  I cannot stand being bored, and generally an awesome place to not be bored is with really weird people.

So! My philosophy is it shouldn't matter to you what my philosophy is, and I hope you don't agree. That being said, allow me to tell you about it. Ooo! Let me do this in a list form. Sam's Laws we'll call it, and ignore how inaccurate a title it might be. Note to the reader: These are rules to be broken and laughed at. Hear ye hear ye, cover your ears.

Sam's Laws

1. Keep an open mind. You have no right to judge.

2. The only person who really cares what you think is you. And this is a good thing.

3. Things are as they should be, and if you change them, that is the way they should be too.

4. Search for fulfillment. There is a reason you are here, and if there isn't you should try to trick yourself into thinking there is.

5. You are responsible for your happiness.

6. The world is not out to get you. So when it does, it was probably a mistake, so forgive it.

7. Life has value. There is no proof, but if you don't believe this then everything collapses.

8. It is easier to destroy than to create, but easy and right are not synonymous.

9. If you can't laugh it off you suck.

10. Be ready to offer the benefit of the doubt and forgiveness.

11. Fear is your enemy and you will never escape it. Do not act on it.

Well that was self indulgent and totally awesome. I have pondered lately if one could attain fame by just being awesome. That is my career goal. Just be a ridiculously famous celebrity. I don't especially have any talents and I'm not pretty enough to steal fame, so my only hope is to be really awesome. I'm pretty good at being really awesome, so we'll see how that goes. But yeah, my philosophy is pretty standard, I guess. It wasn't easy though to construct that. Each item is a concept I did not trust. Its taken me twenty two years to investigate them and decide that I can logically argue for each item. My point is I'm not just copying a motivational poster. I did not take them for granted and more than believe them now, I know them. There are other items I decided not to include because I'm not sure if they're true. For example, "Find someone you love and stay with them forever." Pretty standard, pretty easy to agree with, right? Well, I can't buy into it. Like...I'm a relationship person. I do good with a girlfriend. I wanna get married like today. I just want somebody on my team. I imagine that makes sense and is not a difficult concept to swallow. But I think a relationship can undermine your debt to the world, I mean, it can interfere with your search for your philosophy. I hope one day I can add that law to the list, but for now I can't do it. Those are all positive laws, right? Be nice, respect other people, stuff we are used to hearing. But I didn't always believe those things. I used to think absolutely no one mattered, from a philosophical standpoint more than a practical one, and I lived my life accordingly. Now I know that I definitely matter more than anyone else, but other people definitely have value. And I learned that. It was a pseudo-empirical process. So part of my philosophy is don't take anything you know for granted.

So I continue to search for the pieces of my philosophy. I continue to blunder and gaffe my way into the future. Like the world around me my laws go with the flow and adapt to their environment. They help me live effectively (sometimes) and make the world just a little bit easier to understand. But not much.

so thats how it works