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I was very hungry. I opened the refrigerator and considered my options versus the picture in my head of the sandwich I wanted: alfalfa sprouts, thick-cut honey-glazed ham, mustard, mayo, tomatoes, a nice crusty bread. It was possible to make a delightful sandwich, I had fresh tomatoes and spinach and horseradish and three different kinds of turkey and several cheeses. I could even fry some bacon up, if I wanted to. I didn't mind downgrading my sandwich expectations. I started thinking about how many packages and jars I would have to open, though. The bacon bag would have to be cut open, and then some new receptacle would need fashioning. What of the forks and knives used to spread the banana peppers, mayo and horseradish? A sandwich needed me to take about 6 things out of the fridge, open all of them, use all of them, and then deal with the aftermath (putting all of those things back).

The thought was daunting. I closed the refrigerator and returned to my room. I thought about turning the light on, but then considered the energy needed to lift my arm and get out of my computer chair. I decided to stay in the dark. I settled for the light seeping out of my computer monitor. I thought about the homework I needed to do. I thought about how I knew I couldn't do it, and how I knew that wasn't true. I thought about how disgusted my family would be. I condemned myself more than they ever could and thought about the massive waste of space I was. I spent ten minutes considering opening Facebook, Gmail, D2L - my windows to the world. I knew each of them waited to remind me of my mistakes and failures and general patheticness. I opted out of the endeavor and watched Youtube videos.