going out with a bang

I don't remember very much over the past few weeks. I need to go the hospital, and I am in a few hours. I am embarrassed and scared. I  want to be normal and better and understand other people. I think this is the first step. My brain isn't working right. Or, it is working differently. I am comfortable being rational. Now, the ol' gray box isn't doing so well in the logic department. I know what I feel, and that is what I feel, and a part of me still says it doesn't make sense but when I start to think about it I shut down. That sentence was confusing and would be better illustrated by an example. I can't think of one though. Perhaps this blog entry is a good example. Wait, no, it isn't. There is dog poop around the corner from where I am sitting. The flies prefer to congregate on me. That is a nice little image. I should tuck that into the old brain box for future use.