Contest Entry

I couldn't decide whether or not to submit my social witness essay about sexual exploitation or my moment of being essay about discovering my dad's cancer. Actually, I lied. I could decide and did so quickly. I'm going to submit my moment of being essay (and I'm banking on no one from class reading this, so as not to jeopardize the fairness of judging). It was an easy call. To me, the moment of being piece is a lot more personal and important, and therefore, better writing in my opinion. Also, if I'm getting judged by students I don't think they will be impressed by the academic nature of my social witness essay. To the world, my social witness essay and rhetorical project are far more valuable than my dad's cancer. To me, nothing could be farther than truth. Let 1/2 instead of 1/8 girls get raped if it saves my Dad's life. He would be disgusted if he read that, and I am disgusted with myself that I mean it.

Anyhoo, back to more pleasant literary discussions. The final paragraph of my moment of being essay I think is the best bit of writing I've come up with this semester. It still holds a lot of sentimental value (that doesn't necessarily have to be positive, right?) to me, and I think it comes through in the writing. It has gone through several stages of revision, and where its at now, although not done, is a far cry from where it started. Like Jenna advised, I went through it and sought out the bits of  creative expression that just didn't work, and enhanced the ones that did. I fine tuned the grammar and present/past tense. I'm still not sure about my choice to switch from first person to second at certain places. At the end, I know it is appropriate, but I do it in the middle, too. My reasoning is that I use it whenever I hope the audience can relate to the experience, or needs to to get the impact of my message. I think the essay is strong, overall. It is a poor memoir in the sense that there is no experienced narrator's voice. I do not resolve anything, or explore deeper emotions or meanings. Well, I guess I analyze the fear of the unknown versus the fear of the known, but even then I answer with sarcasm and don't really draw any conclusions. As far as a moment of being essay though, I think it is very strong. I think the reader empathizes with the piece, and me, and is hopefully affected by it. Sam out.